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Jovi

Never Enough

Updated: Jul 5, 2021

High School arch of Cornelius' piano practices


“Again.”


Cornelius states blankly at the piano music. It was already 10. He looked back at his mom. “But. I have hom-“


“Again.”


Cornelius looked back at the piece. It took him 20 minutes to get through. He could feel his fingers locking up already looking at the piece. He flipped back to the beginning of the piece. Right before he starts, his mom interrupts. “Each time you mess up I’ll take count. So don’t mess up. I don’t have all night.”


He looked at the page today. Each note was a risk. His heart began to race from fear. He hated this ‘game’ his mom played with him. Cornelius raised his hands to his head and brushed his hair back. He tried to calm down without his mom noticing. “Cornelius please start. Quit delaying it’s getting late.” He looked down at the page and set the metronome. The ticking noise triggered his nerves more.


He was about to begin but then his mom took the music. “You’re supposed to have this memorized.” He was stunned


Cornelius began even though his nerves were everywhere. He was relying on muscle memory at this point. He closes his eyes and thinks about the song. His fingers sang the song for him. It was going great till he missed a note. His hands started to shake. Then he lost control. So much. He panicked and tried to get his nerves in check.


His mom pulls the key cover close and it almost clips Cornelius hands. He didn’t get to finish the song. His mom makes him stick out his finger and he suddenly feels the ruler slap him. 86 times.


“You’re hopeless.” His mom says and leaves the room. Cornelius started down at his hands. His vision was blurry from his eyes tearing up from the ruler slaps. But the only thing on his mind was “hopeless” over and over.


He goes to the bathroom and he passes his little brother Beet. His brother waves to Cornelius, but his brother is lost in thought. He washes his hands from the blood. He grabs the hydrogen peroxide and pours it over and he screams lightly. His eyes are so puffed up from crying. He washes the blood off. His knuckles are black under all the blood.


He goes back to his room. All he wanted to do was jump out his window. The pain of everything is flooded in him as he lays on the bed. He feels his phone buzz. It was Static. Cornelius smiled. Static had sent him pictures of the homework and then their secret emoji messages which was a flower. A flower from Static meant “I love you” and that’s all he needed. Someday he would be free.

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